Fertility Rites - by Tina Taylor
I specialise in helping couples with fertility issues. In my private practice I often find that my client’s problems stem from beliefs they have, many of these they have been persuaded to accept by others. The persuaders often think that they know best and express their views from a position of authority, and in some cases truly believe they are helping. Their suggestions are accepted without question, you could say they are hypnotised into their belief. And yet many of the people who take on these suggestions are the very people who are sceptical about hypnosis and its effectiveness; totally unaware of just how easily they can be persuaded to accept negative suggestions.
The mind has enormous power over the body, which is constantly influenced by our emotions, thoughts and beliefs. Our thoughts and beliefs can affect our bodies, even manifesting themselves physically. We are able to change physical symptoms by how we feel. For example; when watching a movie we sometimes get so caught up in the story that the feelings we get for the characters are quite real.
There are many factors responsible for infertility, and our emotions can affect the delicately balanced hormonal system, which in turn controls ovulation, spermatogenesis and pregnancy.
Over the last twenty years there has been a significant rise in the number of people who experience problems conceiving. Approximately 25% of couples planning to have a baby experience problems, and it is common for them to take two – three years to conceive their first child. Of those who seek medical help 30% are told they have unexplained infertility for which medical science can offer no explanation.
After trying for a child they go to their medical practitioner “just to make sure” everything is OK and are given suggestions like “they have old eggs”, “they have left it too late”, and one couple was told that they were incompatible. We are programmed from a very early age to rely on doctors opinions for our health and well-being and so these suggestions are readily accepted.
A doctor in San Francisco, worries that todays fertility specialists often forget that one of the most important aspects of a doctors work is often to give their clients hope. If you convince someone they have no reason to hope the lack of hope will be reflected in their bodies. She says she never says never and has delivered a baby to a 53 year old who had undergone an IVF procedure and another to a women who had her last period the year before.
Women in their thirties and forties often get pregnant and produce healthy children, and in the past 20 years births to the over 40’s has increased by 50%. It is even possible to become pregnant whilst in the menopause, many women fall pregnant this way because they think “they are safe”.
I find that the first thing I have to cover with my clients are their beliefs. Most of these come from medical professionals, their families (mothers, aunts, grandmothers) and friends. People that they trust who think that by making them accept the possibility that they wont conceive that they are actually helping them.
Biologically it is more efficient for women to have their families when they are young. But in recent years the average age of women having their first baby has been going up because many of us now want to establish ourselves in a career before starting families. The media’s (recent) inclination to depict women over 35 who want babies as desperate, caught up in a biological clock panic and having wombs that are too old to work can damage the beliefs of millions of women. Given that thoughts and beliefs stimulate hormonal secretions through our bodies these statements can become biological realities in women who believe they really are too old to have babies.
Deepak Chopra MD believes our cells are constantly eavesdropping on our thoughts and being changed by them. Because our mind influences every cell – human aging is fluid and changeable.
There is a connection between language and our well being. The people around us influencing us, the words they use persuading us. I am sure we have all met people who can change how you feel as soon as you meet. There are those people we love to be with because they make us feel so good and then there are others ………. Almost like mood hovers they travel through life sucking up all the good feelings around them, bringing you down. Emotions, feelings are infectious.
Most surgeons nowadays are aware of the effect their language can have in the operating theatre. Although the patient is not conscious, their unconscious is constantly aware and listening and there have been cases of people recalling later things that were said whilst they were under anaesthesia. Hyper sensitive to what was being said around them and responding accordingly. Many doctors are now also becoming more and more aware of how their language also affects the conscious patient, using language to give hope rather than set their patients up for failure.